The truth is…I still don’t know wether I want to get worse or better…and I don’t know if that will ever change.
Anonymous asked: You will get out. You CAN get out. This was me a while back. But now I'm better. Not just weight-wise, but mentally too. It's hard. It's so hard. But it is 100% worth it and I 100% believe in you. Stay strong. You can do this xxxxx
Thank you, lovely Anon, for taking time to write me a message :) It really made me smile, thank you for believing in me! The mental part of recovery is just so so hard. Everything is so up and down. One day I am ok and the next day I’m totally not. It’s so exhausting and it’s been so long. But I’m fighting… somehow. I’m so glad you are better!!! :) Everyone deserves to recover and be happy, we just need to be strong enough. Good luck with your recovery! :) <3
It will never get better. There is no way out. I am so tired. Is recovery even possible? Weight loss. Weight gain. Weight loss. Weight gain. Full weight restoration. Huge relapse. More weight lost. Some weight gained. Depression. Anxiety. Hate. I’m powerless. I’m lost. Why? I’m somewhere in between and stuck. Will I ever get out? I can’t live like this anymore.
As we begin to recover and get clearer, we are often overcome with moments of gratitude. We begin to see the good that we do each day and the good that comes to us. We have times of deep gratitude and love for ourselves, our family and friends, and the world around us. We even begin to have a glimmer of what it would mean to live in harmony with all those around us. We are healing.
- me: wow I'm fat
- me: maybe I look ok
- me: I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
- me: I'm fucking disgusting I'm losing weight now
- me: I am more than just my weight!
- me: who the fuck cares about anything
- me: I AM SO FAT.
- me: idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
- me: i hate myself